How to be an Indoors Kind of a Person

Welcome, one and all, to a tutorial you do not need.
If you are the sort of person who sits at home reading the blog of a young Irishwoman, then you do not need tips and reasons to stay indoors.
You are here for reassurance, and that I can offer plenty of. I can also recommend nice things to do.

Part One: So You're Looking For an Excuse
Isn't it the worst when you have friends and they want to do things with you?
Fret not, these foolproof excuses will work on even the most desperate and pathetic friend, dying for your love and attention:
- "I can't."
- "Sorry, no."
- "Not tonight."
Because you do not need an excuse to stay indoors. That is the real lesson. Pysch!

Part Two: How to Settle On Down
As if you're not already an expert. But lets indulge ourselves.
The very best way to spend a loooooong evening to yourself, in your home, is to earn it. You must do something very taxing, so that you may think "I need to treat myself to two hours of reading old magazines". These things include
- Going into town to buy bread
- Posting a letter
- Making food of any description (this includes eating something from the packet)
- Almost bumping into someone you know
- Rearranging your candles
Now that you have earned this time, for the love of god enjoy it.

Part Three: Your Toolkit
This is a very simple and pleasant activity- assembling a toolkit. It can even include arranging things nicely, if you're so inclined!
Must haves include
- Deliciously soft (new??!) pajama pants
- An obscenely large and cosy jumper (better if it's borrowed from someone you love. Or someone you hate, because then you can laugh and think "Fuck you, I've got your jumper")
- Heartbreakingly fluffy socks
- A beautiful blanket of your choosing
- A pet (but not a fish. And if you must choose a cat, make sure it loves you. Seriously, make sure)
- A never-ending supply of your favourite hot drink (why am I pretending this should be anything but tea?)
- Snacks. Oh the snacks.

Part Four: Living Your Best Life

• Make yourself inexcusably comfortable, propped up on your couch with Netflix ready to go and everything within reaching distance.
• Paint a tiny watercolour portrait of your cat while watching Downton Abbey.
• Decide what colour you're going to paint your nails just as soon as you have enough money to go into town.
• Start collecting Pins for your Board entitled Break-Up Haircuts (even though you're not even in a relationship)
• Ignore the phone as your boss calls you, wondering where the flaming fuck you are.
• Assemble a sandwich of erotic proportions involving every meat in the fridge.
• Every now and then, allow your gaze to drift to the window. Think "It's nice out. I might go for a walk." Do this after one week. You are indoors now. Embrace it.